To: My Unborn Daughter

I have never seen your face.  I have never held you in my arms, heard your cry or kissed your face.  In a few short weeks, all that will change- already in my womb, I know you are spunky and stubborn… given both your parent’s personality, neither of us are surprised.  Go easy on us- please!  Since the day finding out you, a little girl, were joining our world our lens on life, relationships, community, values and much more has begun to shift.  To be honest, our world is not a place I am excited to introduce you to- inside you know no hurt, pain, fear, disappointment, no struggle- you are perfect and safe.  Our world has turned away from God and in that we have adopted what you will learn is a “me” centered culture, filled with entitlement, bitterness, selfishness, hate and false expectations that will push and pull for your attention continuously.  It’s sickening.

As your father and I talk, dream and pray for your arrival we draw closer to each other- we share dialogue on what is most important and how we plan to approach new situations on the horizon.  He is deployed at this time so it will just be the two of us and Bowie, your new furry best friend for a few early months of your life.  Know that he loves you, wishes he could be with you, but is serving and leading with the military overseas.  We will make it one day at a time, figure it out as we go and I promise we will have so many stories to share with you of our attempts, successes and mistakes.  Welcome to the Army little one.

Upon finding out Baby Wingate was a girl, I have contemplated for the last 18 weeks what I want you to know growing up.  Here is the starting list…

  1.  You were made whole- lacking nothing.  Your very name, Emma, means whole and united- God knew everything about you and created you intentionally every day & week to possess all that you needed to be the woman who this world needs through every stage of your life.  Embrace who you are.
  2. You are third in line- First and foremost, Jesus is number one to you, to me and to your dad.  That is the most important relationship you will pursue.  Second is my relationship to your dad- You are a gift into our world, he is my best friend and my teammate and that is how it will remain.   You will one day leave “the nest” and have a life, dreams and journey of your own.  It may not make sense, but the best gift we can give you is a supportive, loving and well rooted home in love and truth.  You will thank us for it one day, but our date nights will remain in tact- we will find a good sitter for you.
  3. Being a Girl is Tough- middle school, clicks, gossip and much more is part of the battlefield for most young women.  It’s rough.  Hold your head up and re-visit number one, then rely on this: God has me, I have nothing to fear, nothing to prove and nothing to lose with Him.  Be kind to everyone- it’s the best type of “medicine” and do everything for His glory, not to the approval of others.  At the end of the day- every girl is truly trying to figure out who they are, their worth, their place in this world and how to survive.  We will choose to have grace my sweet girl.
  4. Beauty is Fleeting as Are Boys- Take it from someone who chased and I mean chased boys for years and years.  I have tried and attempted my fair share of things to win the look, approval and acceptance of a boy.  I allowed myself to focus on worldly things, given into things that we not life-giving to a Godly focused woman and in turn traded so much life for so much heart-break.  Enjoy where you are in life with the good friends you have.  The boys?  This is going to be an ongoing conversation for years I am sure, but mark my words- you can learn everything about a boy as a friend that you need to know if he would make a boyfriend worth dating and a husband worth marrying.   If he isn’t ok with your boundaries and the level of what you deserve… move on.  God has something exponentially better for you, but I need you to take the first step and trust that.
  5. Life is a Journey– If you are anything like me, you will strive extensively to know purpose, to accomplish much and spin your wheels into exhaustion.  How about we just agree not to do that… Why?  You will never arrive.  The line of whatever seems to be enough continues to move, it’s the myth of enough.  The plan you wanted will change as you grow and life happens.  That is all ok.  You don’t have to have it figured out.  What you do need to do is be hungry to learn, be committed to whatever you do with excellence, seek the Lord through it all and continue taking the next step forward, even if it doesn’t fully make sense.  God has a plan, He desires to bless you abundantly and the beautiful thing, we don’t have to “control” any of it.  In turn, we get to respond with obedience and walk in that promise.  He Is Faithful.

Emma, we are excited to meet you.  We are looking forward to learning how to do this whole parenting thing with you and truly looking forward to raising you to be a warrior for Christ- committed to His call for you.

See you soon sweet girl.


Your Mom


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