Thanks for joining me on this journey in Living Boldy. I have a feeling that IF will define and continue to be a “marker” in this journey forward to living it differently.
Jennie Allen opened with a message from Numbers 13:27-33, “Obedience begins with a single step”
Background story- Moses sent twelve leaders to explore Canaan, which the Lord had promised to the Israelites. These guys were to go, see what the land was like, their people, their towns, their food and the soil.
Why: The Lord had promised this land to them- Moses & Aaron knew it, but 10 of the leaders who went doubted, questioned, feared and gave up.
Jennie shared that many of us ask ourselves these same three questions the 10 leaders who doubted did:
1- Am I enough to take it? Do I measure up?
2- Are we going to be safe? I don’t want to lose everything…
3- What is it going to cost?
I have poured over these three questions. Every season of my life I have asked these in one way or another, seeing the pain, the fear, the doubt and at times even quit.
14:8- 9 “If the Lord is pleased with us, he will bring us safely into that land and give it to us… Do not rebel against the Lord, and don’t be afraid of the people in the land. They are only helpless prey to us! They have no protection, but the Lord is with us! Don’t be afraid of them!”
Sheesh, I need to have that scripture written on a white board every day for me to look at! After much reflection on these questions and application in my current season, this is what I have come up with.
I don’t feel like I am enough, I never have and maybe I never will. However, I do know that God equips the called, so I am working to be present and faithful in that. My measurements of myself, my accomplishments to others and everyone’s social media highlight reel lives can make me feel less than if I’m not careful, but I’m me and that’s the best I can do!
Am I going to be safe? This is tough- I want to be safe. I don’t want to struggle in any capacity. I don’t want my husband to have to go and fight any more wars and I never want to lose anyone I am close to. With that said, I am working on praying for courage and to be Brave in whatever and wherever that means. (I shared that last sentence with Chris that evening… he surprised me with the gift below. He’s pretty amazing, isn’t he?)
I have learned already these past three months that the Lord’s calling costs everything, but the gain is so much greater than anything I would have ever been able to hold on to or create. I think there is always a cost- even if you choose to do nothing, you are costing yourself, costing others and you may never know the extent of the loss. The picture below is what I jotted down at the end of her talk. I want to have the attitude and courage to respond to those three questions always with, “I don’t care. I’m ready”
If you are asking yourself those same three questions, I encourage you to be brave with me!