I Still Want Everything

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…” Ecc. 3:1

It all sounds good.  It’s encouraging in some ways.  In many areas of my life I am thankful not everything comes at one season and that most things do have an ending point.  What I am learning about myself is that I wrestle, often, with the desire to do everything well.  When I say everything, let me be less dramatic, I mean I desire to do both my jobs- Guest Experience Director at a church and a wedding planner perfectly well.  It is extremely frustrating to me when I realize a gap in one or both of those areas.

Why?

Because I want both things to succeed in the same season. My question for so long has been, why did God give me these passions, these talents, etc if only to not use one or the other now?  I really struggle with that.  There are opportunities with both, neither one is better than the other and I absolutely am fueled and challenged by both, so what do I do?   A mentor once told me, “you are wise, but still young,  You still want to be good at everything and that isn’t reality.  At some point you have to make a choice and move forward with it.  Until you do, you will continue to do this dance with your dreams; one step towards  the church, one step back from weddings.  Two steps towards weddings, two steps back from the church.” He’s right and it paints a vivid picture and one I don’t like.

I still want everything, however, for the first time I am seeing it differently.  The lens that I have this morning (as of about 2hrs ago) is that this is my season to really focus in on the potential in the church because I hope to co-write a book about Guest Experience in the church in 2015 (Deep Breath).  This is my season to lean in, learn all that I can because my ultimate dream is to do consulting work that stems from this book.  I still love weddings just as much, but maybe I continue down the path I am on with them now, maintain to fuel that passion and then accelerate that in another season where I can give a greater percentage to growing the business.

I don’t feel like I am having to pick, but I do realize the potential of this season as preparation for the next and if I really want  see some dreams come to fruition in the next season, I have to be intentional about this one and give myself grace that it is ok to not have it all right now.

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